The Elimination of Kate Beckett
by BeautyforAshes7
Summary: Crack fic about all the ways to eliminate Kate Beckett
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note: As a mental health therapist, I used to watch Castle and be amazed at how much the writers understood the depth of character in people, both good and bad. But season 8 to me has been a host of ridiculous "They wouldn't really do that would they?" and yet they do and keep doing. So, because of that I decided to write a series of stories about all the really ridiculous ways that they could eliminate Kate Beckett. If you don't like sarcasm, this fic may not be for you.

* * *

"Kelly Nieman? You are supposed to be dead," Castle cried as the woman pulled him into the storage closet.

"Castle, it's me." She said, a softness falling over her face that Castle had never seen on the serial killer before.

Castle knew he was in trouble if he didn't get out of there. What if she had a weapon? He had to get to Kate in order to keep her safe. He wondered if he could hit this woman over the head with a broom. Just as he grabbed for it, the woman put her hands in his, intertwining their fingers.

"I know this will be hard to believe, but if anyone can believe it, you can." The woman locked her gaze with his. "I'm Kate."

"Kate, who?" Castle said, pulling their hands apart. "My wife? I don't think so."

"Listen to me, Castle. Kelly Nieman didn't die that night. She switched our faces. She had me locked in a basement all of this time. The bloody corpse wasn't Kelly Nieman, it was someone else. Someone that she had prepared before that."

Castle couldn't believe what this woman was telling him. It didn't make any sense. If his Kate was out there, she would find him at any cost. "Why didn't you look for me?"

"I couldn't escape. I tried so many ways to escape but couldn't. She would show me video of you two together. The hardest thing I ever had to watch was the video of your broken heart after she left you. Castle, you have to know, I would never ever leave you. Not for a quest, not for anything." The woman's face was filled with longing.

As Castle's eyes wandered over this woman, he wondered if she was telling the truth. After all, his Kate had done so many weird things this year. He knew his wife would never leave him, and then she left him anyway. It also had seemed odd that she liked different foods and different…positions. The bile rose up in this throat as it occurred to him what he had done with Kelly Nieman, if in fact this woman was telling the truth. He had to know for sure.

"Tell me something only you know about me, if you want me to believe this." Castle said, giving the woman an accusatory look.

"On our last Hamptons weekend, you kept saying the word, "Geronimo" in your sleep. I teased you about it all weekend."

"What? No one knows that. Kate…it is you. What do we do about that other woman pretending to be you?" Castle asked, knowing he would never be able to convince Ryan and Esposito of this.

"There are things about Ryan and Esposito that I only know as well. We can convince them." The woman who Castle now realized was his wife, said as she linked their hands again.

So they did, and the woman that appeared to be Kate Beckett was placed in jail for life. Castle was so happy to have his wife back, he would just have to get used to her serial killer appearance. At least he knew that eventually the desire to flinch when she walked in the room would dissipate and for that, he was grateful.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: Because it seemed like they wanted to replace Beckett with Haley all season but somehow not have us notice.

* * *

"As you can see, the victim disappeared because it used this machine to merge with another person. Your victim's still alive, they just share a body with someone else." The professor pointed out as he showed Castle, Beckett, and Hayley the machine that one of his students built.

"So you are saying the victim merged with another person, willingly?" Beckett asked as she saw Castle grinning from ear to ear.

"It's possible," the professor pointed out. "Depending on the situation, it could have been an accident."

"So there is a human being walking around that actually is two people?" Castle clapped his hands, "Beckett, what a great story."

"Rick, this machine could be used for some evil things." Hayley pointed out. "It's probably not a good thing for the victim's family."

Beckett shook her head at Hayley and Castle, "I don't buy it, I'm sorry. Professor, you are saying that if I push this button right here, I'm all of a sudden going to merge into someone else's body. I don't think so."

"Beckett, don't." Castle yelled as he watched his wife hit the button and merge into Hayley's body.

"Beckett?" Castle asked.

"Yah, I'm in here." Hayley answered. "Both of us."

"How do we undo this?" Castle asked, looking at the professor.

"I'm sorry, but there's no reverse machine. You are going to have to learn to live with this." The professor stated. "I'll leave you alone for a moment. I know this must be a shock."

He exited the room as Castle stared at Hayley, the body that now also contained his wife.

"What do we do, Castle? I can't stay in this body," Castle only assumed that this was Beckett talking through Hayley.

"Well, it's not really that big of a deal if you think about it?" Castle said.

"What?" Hayley/Beckett said.

"If you think about it, you are pretty much the same person anyway." Castle played with his wedding ring.

"What's that supposed to mean?" The woman asked.

"Well, Hayley…you had walls but we knocked them down and Beckett, you had walls but we knocked them down" Castle pointed out.

The woman nodded, "I guess that's true."

"Also, Beckett, you are my daughter's stepmom and Hayley, you act like you could be my daughter's stepmom." Castle shrugged his shoulders.

Hayley/Beckett appeared to be coming around, "That makes sense."

"You're both bad asses and you both know how to shoot a gun." Castle continued as the woman nodded.

"Most importantly, you both are my partner. So that doesn't have to change." Castle put his arm on Hayley/Beckett's shoulder.

"But, Castle, even if the three of us can make it work. How do we expect everyone else to get on board?" Hayley/Beckett asked.

"If you think about it, Hayley came into our lives and no one really asked too many questions. So if we tell everyone that Hayley and Beckett are the same person now, they might not even notice." Castle said.

"Good point. So we better get used to living in one body together." Hayley said. Castle breathed a sigh of relief as he assumed they seemed to be making peace with this new reality.

"Now let's get you home. I have to practice exploring this new body." Castle wiggled his eyebrows.

The woman punched him in the arm. "That was from Beckett."

Castle brought his hand to cover the bruise, "I figured."


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: The ridiculousness just keeps happening. I almost feel like I should apologize for these stories. This story has about as many holes as season 8 did.

* * *

"Beckett, put down the gun." Castle shouted as his beloved wife aimed her firearm at him. He never thought that he would ever see the day that she would be aiming at him.

"I can't, Castle. I just found out that I am Loksat. That means I have to kill everyone I care about. Now, get down on the ground." It was clear to Castle that Beckett was in turmoil.

"Kate, you can't be Loksat. You didn't kill your mom or Roy. You didn't shoot yourself." Castle pointed out.

"No, I hired someone to do it. I had to, in order to keep my cover." Beckett yelled, aiming the gun directly at Castle's head.

"What, cover?" Castle asked. "Why would you want to kill all those people?"

"I don't know. I don't know. It doesn't make any sense. But I was told I was Loksat. There seemed to be holes in that theory. But I was told that I was, so I must accept it." Beckett said. "Now, I must kill you."

"Beckett, no. This isn't you. You don't have to be this person. You aren't Loksat." Castle squeezed his eyes shut, hoping that he could talk some sense into his wife before she pulled the trigger.

"No, she isn't Loksat, alone. I am Loksat," Castle heard another voice booming from the doorway. "Jim Beckett?"

"You got too close, Castle. Why couldn't you leave well enough alone? My daughter was only doing what I brainwashed her to do. If it wasn't for you, she never would have remembered her part in this conspiracy." Jim Beckett said.

"But, why, Jim? Why would you kill your own wife? Why would you have your own daughter shot? Why would you convince her that it was all her fault?" Castle asked.

"My wife got too close, she never could leave well enough alone. My daughter could never leave anything alone either. I never intended to kill her, only to let her know who was boss." Jim said. "But you waltzed into my daughter's life and made her believe she wanted to be happy. You made her believe she didn't want to keep killing people.

"Who are you, Jim? Are you really a lawyer? Who do you really work for?" Castle couldn't put the pieces together. None of this made sense.

"Well, Castle. I work for the CIA. Your father is my brother. You and Kate are actually cousins." Jim said.

"Eww," Castle said. He had married and slept with his cousin? This whole thing was becoming more twisted than a Jerry Springer show.

"Gross," Beckett said as she took the gun off of Castle's head. "Dad, you let me marry my cousin? Why?"

"We needed access to his father's information," Jim said. "This seemed like the only way."

"So, what are you going to do now?" Castle asked.

"I'm going to take Kate and we are going to go somehow that you will never see us again. But if you try to find us, remember that we have infiltrated your whole family. You never know who we might hurt." Jim pointed his gun at a picture of Alexis, sitting on Castle's desk.

"I'm sorry, Castle. I did love you. My intention wasn't to kill you. I'm actually still a little confused about what has happened the last eight years." Beckett said.

"Jim, what did you do to her?" Castle asked. Even knowing it had been a lie, he still cared about his wife (cousin?) and didn't want anything to happen to her.

"Let's just say that she is completely under my control. She doesn't do anything that I don't want her to do." Jim pulled Beckett's arm. "Come on, Katie. Say goodbye to your husband."

"But I still don't get it, why are you Loksat? What is in it for you?" Castle looked at the older man, a question in his eyes.

"You are welcome to investigate it, Rick. But it may take an entire year to figure it out. For now, we are going to leave." Jim dragged Kate out of the room as she waved goodbye.

Castle realized he was going to have to get Richard Castle Investigations on the case. At least he had something to do next year with his wife gone.


	4. Chapter 4

"Kate, stop scratching. Welts are forming on your arm." Castle smoothed his wife's gown as he waited for the doctor to give them the results.

"I have good news and bad news," Dr. Milton said, making a note on Kate's file.

"And?" Kate practically hissed. "Can you tell me what's causing this? Is the baby ok?"

"The baby's fine," the doctor assured. "It looks like you are ten weeks along."

"The bad news?" Castle asked, concerned that the answer wouldn't be something he wanted to hear.

"It seems you are having an allergic reaction, Mrs. Castle." Dr. Milton pointed out.

Castle breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, that's easily solvable. What do we have to get rid of? Gluten, dairy, peanuts? Do we need to check the loft for dust particles?"

"That's the bad part of the news," the doctor removed his glasses. "After doing extensive testing…it seems that she's allergic to you, Mr. Castle."

"What?" Kate asked, "Surely you mean something that he uses, right? His shampoo or cologne or something?

"Unfortunately, no." Dr. Milton said. "It seems that the pregnancy has caused you to become allergic to Mr. Castle's very essence.

"Will this be a permanent thing?" Castle asked.

"I have no reason to believe that it will last after Mrs. Castle has given birth." He said.

Kate pulled the doctor down by his coat. "What exactly am I supposed to do if I'm allergic to my husband?" She practically shouted.

"That's the other thing, Mrs. Castle. You will need to be on bed rest for the next 30 weeks because your body has taken such a hit with this allergic reaction. So I suggest, you go on bed rest somewhere far away from Mr. Castle." The doctor pulled himself away from Kate, straightening his jacket.

"Are you telling me that I don't get to see my wife for the next seven months? Even though she's pregnant with my baby?" Castle asked.

"That's exactly what I'm telling you. It's what's best for her and the baby, Mr. Castle. I suggest you get used to using Facetime on a regular basis. Once the baby's born, the reaction should clear up and you can spend time with your family again." The doctor made another note in the file.

"So I can't even be in the room when she gives birth?" Castle couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"That could be dangerous." The doctor said. "I would suggest having someone else hold her hand during delivery."

"Unbelievable." Kate shook her head and grumbled. "I guess Lanie could do it."

The doctor eyed both of them. "Look, I know this is difficult news. I'll give you two a minute."

"Castle, I could go up to the Hamptons for the next seven months." Kate suggested. "I know it's not ideal, but I want our baby to be healthy."

"But who will take care of you if I'm not even allowed to be in the same room with you?" Castle asked.

"We have to hire someone to come in each day, make me food and so forth." Kate said, "I don't like it any more than you do, but we have to do something."

"Fine," Castle said. "But I'm calling you several times a day."

"In the meantime, you can focus on your PI business and tell me all about the cases." Kate said. "After all, I'm going to be bored out of my mind."

"Who knows, maybe I'll get some interesting ones and can start writing books about those?" Castle suggested.

"That sounds like a plan," Kate said, grabbing his hand.

"Kate a rash is forming on your hand, right now." Castle pointed.

"It happened that fast? I guess that means no last kiss, huh?" Kate said, sadness rising in her voice.

"I guess not, who knows what could happen?" Castle eyed the rash that seemed to be getting bigger with seconds.

"Call me a car, Castle. I'll see you in seven months." Kate said.

"See you _both_ in seven months." Castle pointed to Kate's stomach.


	5. Chapter 5

Authors Note: One of the things that I adored about "Castle" was that it put the main couple together, and then kept them together. It was so rare to actually see a show value a relationship/marriage these days. That's what made it unique and different. But season 8 definitely did some damage with that. If season 9 continues, it seems more damage will be done. So this story is a very tongue in cheek version of how quickly they seemed to want to throw away my favorite (and honestly one of the only) TV couples that I enjoy watching.

* * *

"Vikram asked me out," Kate said, right after her husband came into her office.

"Well, are you going to go?" Castle asked.

"I'm thinking about it," She replied, "You and I have only been married for a little over a year. That doesn't really count, does it?"

"I'm not sure, I didn't think that it counted. On television shows, it doesn't seem to count." Castle sat down in the chair across from her desk.

"That's true. Do you think I should go? What if I like him better than you?" Kate asked, her eyes meeting her husband's.

"If you like him better then me, I guess you ride off into the sunset with him." Castle paused. "Until you find someone else you like better, that is."

"But what about Always?" Kate asked, not sure about the decision that she was making. Her husband definitely mattered. They made promises to each other and stuff. But, what was she supposed to do when she found another guy attractive? Turn him down? That hardly made any sense.

"Always, sometimes, part of the time…whatever. The word got you to hook up with me, and that's the most important thing." Castle pointed out.

"I guess so," Kate concurred. "So, you really wouldn't mind if I gave Vikram a chance? I'm definitely attracted to him. You're not worried I might choose him?"

"Kate, if you choose him then that's what you do. I'll focus on my PI business and Hayley. Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you that I already hooked up with Hayley a couple of times." Castle shared the information with his wife.

Kate took a breath. "That didn't take long."

"Well, you separated from me when she first came on the scene…and a guy has needs. Plus she's hot." Castle shrugged.

"That's fair." Kate agreed. "So if I choose Vikram, our partnership will probably be done, huh?"

"I don't see any reason for it to continue. We can stay married though, if you want. I don't need any rumors about have three divorces floating around. That would be bad for my reputation." Castle smirked at his wife.

"That'd probably be good. So we'll stay married, but never see each other and we'll hook up with other people." Kate said.

"I can get behind that. Although, we should still hook up with each other every now and then…because it's fun. We'll just do it behind closed doors." Castle agreed.

"I'll always love you, Castle. Partners in Life and in Crime." Kate played with the paperclips on her desk.

"At least until the seven year itch, then it gets booorring." Castle hooted.

"True," Kate agreed. "It's a good thing our life isn't a TV show. Because this probably wouldn't make a whole lot of sense to anyone else."

"No, it certainly wouldn't." Castle stood up and walked out of the office, leaving Kate to call Vikram and tell him yes.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's note: Because I can't imagine a way to get rid of Kate Beckett that would be satisfying, I decided to write about the least satisfying way to get rid of Kate Beckett.

* * *

It was time, Alexis knew. This had been going on long enough. Eight years ago, her father had a breakdown when it came to relationships. After his second divorce, he felt he wasn't worthy of love. He told Alexis that he didn't believe in soul mates anymore and he would never have the epic love story that he so often dreamed about. She assumed that her father was only frustrated and would eventually grow out of it.

But everything changed the night of the book party. He began telling her about this woman he met, a woman named Kate. She was a cop with the NYPD. He even claimed that Alexis had met her the same time he did.

But Alexis didn't remember any woman.

The problems continued when her father said that he needed to shadow the detective on cases. He seemed happier than he seemed in ages. So when Alexis caught him writing at a coffee shop one afternoon when he was supposed to be at the precinct, she didn't say anything.

Soon, Alexis noticed that her father seemed to be falling in love with this woman and she became concerned that she had never met her. She made a call to the 12th Precinct that day and realization flooded her mind.

"Hello, this is Alexis Castle. I'm looking for a Kate Beckett. Is she there?" She asked the woman who answered the phone.

"I'm sorry, but there is no one here by that name. Let me grab someone else."

"Hi, are you Richard Castle's daughter?" The male voice asked.

"Yes, I'm calling for Detective Kate Beckett."

"This is Detective Ryan. Your father has been calling us asking for help researching his new book. He seems to think someone named Kate Beckett works here. But there is no one by that name."

"Thank you," Alexis said, slamming the phone down, startled. _What was going on?_

As the years progressed, she realized that her father was getting more responsible and fun. He seemed happier and more lively and he was inspired to write again. However, at this point, she and her grandmother knew the truth.

Kate Beckett was a figment of his imagination.

Alexis started visiting a psychologist, trying to figure out what had happened to her father. He suggested that her father created Kate Beckett as a coping mechanism for the trauma and depression he was feeling after his last relationship.

Eight years later, her father had concocted a belief that Kate had left him. Her psychologist told her that this could be him willingly separating himself from the creation in order to reclaim his life. Alexis breathed a sigh of relief when this happened, but found herself disappointed shortly after, when her father said that Kate had taken him back.

It was time for Alexis to do something final. She needed her father to let go of this fallacy of true love and go out there and find the real thing. She wanted him back, whole.

The only way to do that was to make him believe that Kate Beckett was dead.

That's what brought her here today. She held an apology in her eyes as she stared at her father, strapped to the bed, his head covered with wires. The doctor was one of the leading integration therapy experts in the world. He told her that he could help her dad believe that Kate Beckett was dead, once and for all…so he could finally let her go. Thankfully, the man told her that he could also make her father forget that she had any part in Kate Beckett's death. Instead, he'll only remember the man in the room with him, believing him to be Kate's murderer.

"No, sir. Don't do this." Castle cried. "Don't kill Kate."

"Kate Beckett is going to be dead by the end of the night, and there is nothing you can do about it." The man said. Then Alexis cringed and left the room as he heard her father screaming.

"You did the right thing, honey." Martha said as she waited outside. "We will have your father fully back with us.

An hour later the door opened and her father came out, his eyes brimming with tears. "Kate's dead."

He pulled Alexis and Martha into his arms. "I can't believe she's dead."

"But now you can move on," Alexis said softly. "She wouldn't want you to be devastated."

"No, now I'm going to avenge her death." Castle said, "Whoever took my wife away is going to pay."

Alexis closed her eyes.

Crap, this wasn't how it was supposed to go.


End file.
